Miscarriage often leaves couples shaken. Alongside grief, new fears about fertility arise: Will it happen again? What if I can’t get pregnant at all? What if this changes how you see me?
These questions can feel overwhelming, because they not only touch on your hopes for the future, but also your relationship, sense of identity, control and worth.
These fears are normal. Talking about them with your partner can prevent isolation and strengthen your relationship.
Common Fertility Fears
Fear of repeat miscarriage
Fear of infertility
Fear of disappointing your partner
How to Open the Conversation
Be honest: Vulnerability can invite connection with your partner. For example, you can say “I’m scared this will happen again.”, “I’m afraid my body won’t cooperate.”
Use “I” statements: Focus on your own feelings rather than assumptions about how your partner is doing.
Choose your moment: Pick a quiet time when you won’t be interrupted, and when both of you are emotionally present. For example, talking about this late at night, or when both of you are tired may not be as productive.
Listen, too: Let your partner share their fears. Your partner may also feel helpless or afraid, but not know how to express it to you.
If Communication Feels Hard
Sometimes grief makes it difficult to connect. You might find yourself withdrawing, avoiding the topic altogether or arguing. If you find yourselves avoiding the topic or arguing, couples counseling or fertility counseling can help (ACOG; Miscarriage Association).
Key Takeaways
Fertility fears after miscarriage are common and normal.
Talking openly with your partner helps you feel less alone.
Professional support can help if the topic feels too heavy to navigate together.
✨ Sibyl is being built to offer journaling prompts and conversation guides for couples facing fertility fears. Sign up for our beta here:
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