Grief after miscarriage is natural. But sometimes, that sadness deepens into something heavier — a fog that doesn’t lift, even with time. If you find yourself struggling to get out of bed, feeling numb, or unable to imagine a hopeful future, you might be experiencing depression.
When Grief Turns Into Depression
Grief moves. It comes and goes in waves. Depression, however, often feels still — like being trapped under water. After loss, these conditions can overlap, but the difference lies in duration and impact.
In other words, grief after a miscarriage is a natural response to loss, characterized by feelings of sadness and yearning for the lost pregnancy, with self-esteem generally preserved. Grief typically lessens over time. While depression is more persistent (it does not go away), and it is characterised by a sense of worthlessness, emptiness and an inability to function.
Depression may show up as:
Persistent (long-lasting) sadness or emptiness
Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy (Ex: hobbies, sports, spending time with loved ones, or food)
Changes in appetite or sleep
Feeling guilty, hopeless, or worthless
Thoughts about not wanting to live - if you are experiencing suicidal or self-harm thoughts, please contact your GP or your national suicide hotline that can be found online.
It’s not uncommon for grief to develop into depression weeks or even months after a miscarriage, once the initial shock fades and support from others has quieted.
Why It Happens
After a miscarriage you experience very large hormonal fluctuations, which can affect they way you feel and think. On top of this, you are experiencing complex emotions, physical symptoms, and might feel angry at your own body. Some people also have prior mental health complains, may currently not have a good social support system, or may now have a strained relationship with their partner. Your hormones, psychological and physical wellbeing, and your support systems can influence how you feel and whether you develop depression.
What Helps
Reach out early. Know what symptoms you and your partner can look out for, that indicate you should take actions. Depression can trick you into thinking nothing will help, but help does exist. A GP, therapist, or midwife can connect you with support and, if needed, medication that’s safe and temporary.
Build gentle structure. Simple routines — morning sunlight, walks, meals at consistent times, sleeping regular and adequate amounts — help your brain regulate mood hormones. You do not need to force yourself to do energy draining activities - just set yourself small and achievable goals.
Connect with others. Sharing your story, even anonymously, can reduce the weight of isolation.
Watch for intrusive or hopeless thoughts. If you ever find yourself thinking life isn’t worth living, please reach out to a trusted person or local crisis service right away.
You are not weak for struggling. You are surviving one of life’s hardest losses. Healing starts with allowing yourself to be helped.
Would you like support processing emotions and understanding if it might be time to seek professional care? Sign up to test an early version of Sibyl here: https://www.sibyl.care/signup
