Experiencing a miscarriage during fertility treatment can feel like a loss arriving when you’re already depleted. You’ve injected, tracked, waited, and dared to hope. Then, when the long-awaited positive test ends in heartbreak, the grief can feel unbearable — as if all your effort vanished in a moment - even though it still mattered.
Many people describe this kind of loss as deeply disheartening. It’s not just the loss of a pregnancy, but the collapse of a carefully managed dream — one that required science, money, and months of emotional stamina.
Why IVF or IUI Loss Feels Different
When pregnancy becomes medicalized, it can feel both empowering and alienating. You’re asked to monitor your body closely, yet the process can make you feel detached from it. After a loss, that detachment can deepen into distrust. Many people think, “my body failed me” but your body did not fail, it endured an immense process.
The grief also unfolds under pressure. Treatment cycles are expensive and time-sensitive, leaving little room for emotional recovery. And socially, fertility loss often goes unseen; friends may not realize how invested you already were.
What Can Help
Give yourself permission to pause. You don’t have to rush into another cycle right away. Emotional readiness is just as important as medical timing.
Mark the loss. If it feels healing, mark the loss in a way that’s meaningful to you. Small rituals — a candle, a letter, a private ceremony — help your heart catch up to what happened.
Seek fertility-aware support. A therapist or support group that understands treatment loss can make all the difference.
Protect your partnership. It’s normal to grieve differently. You might crave closeness while your partner goes quiet, or vice versa. Name those differences with compassion.
There is no “right way” to move through this. You are allowed to rest, to rage, to step away from treatment, or to try again when it feels right.
✨ Sibyl supports people experiencing loss during fertility treatment with guided reflection, gentle emotional exercises, and tools to help you decide when — or if — you’re ready to try again. Sign up to test an early version of the app here: https://www.sibyl.care/signup
